A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
something perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal,
that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without;
ruining the friendship...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. .
whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table..
or a charming Inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
What she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...and a year...

- Maya Angelou

devious deceptions.

What are you to do when the ones you trust most are the main ones who have lead you down a road of deception?  All you can feel at this point in time is betrayal, and quite frankly, a unexplainable amount of indescribable emotions.  Honestly, as much as it is deception caused by another individual, it also involves a misconception on my part, for I believed everything that has been said thus far as being the downright, sincere truth. 

Then again, who am I to decipher your feelings when these are your own personal emotions?  Who am I to say if the honesty is pure or completey faulty?  No one knows except you.  Yet, I refuse to sit here and play a guessing game trying to figure it out, but all I can say is that my perception of a particular individual has transformed into a diluted character lacking the trust I once placed upon them.

Seriously, all I ask is for people to be real with me.  Don't front with me because if there ever comes a point in time where I find out that you've put one up, I will annihilate you and that cowardice front you've tried to deceive me with.  So guess what? Your character has been called into question and the annihilation will initiate the next time you decide to approach me with these feelings, your feelings I consider to be empty emotions filled with nothing but falsehood until you prove it to me otherwise.

Do you ever have a feeling, a feeling that leaves such a bitter taste in your mouth and makes you feel as if you are about to mentally, physically, and emotionally breakdown?  I'm not too sure but I'm starting to think that I am about to have one of these triple-threat breakdowns.  These past couple of weeks, actually, months, has left me in this odd state of mind. 

Everything from the past seems to be coming back in this heavy wave and is just constantly drowning me and pushing me into the deep end.  We choose who we want in our lives and the way we want to go about living it but most times, just because you choose it, it doesn't mean you're guaranteed to get it.  No one can control every situation that comes about because there are circumstances we just can't control. 

It saddens me to see the way things have turned out and everything that is happening at this moment in time.  I must admit, I am filled with joy and happiness but the sadness, disappointment and this feeling of pure disinclination to accept the fact that they have what I've wanted from you has left me with nothing but a feeling of resentment. 

You're completely mislead and wrong to believe that I understand what is going on because I honestly don't.  I'm hurt, so it is useless for you to attempt to tell me otherwise about how I should be feeling or what I should be thinking.  What I've wanted, I will never get.  What I've told you, means nothing at all.  What I've dreamed of, will never become a reality.